When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i think my cat just said my name.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
