I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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