I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
