Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
