small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
