Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize