never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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