My liver just broke up with me...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
