i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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