We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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