So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And then my night got REAL pukey
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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