It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dick very happy bro
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize