yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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