just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
