I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
