Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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