oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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