I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
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