tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
