You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
