You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
