summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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