Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
