It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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