im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
