You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
