Its about making memories worth repressing
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize