As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dicks are not precious.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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