apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
