You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Dick very happy bro
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
