the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
