Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So many bounce houses so little time
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
