remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
