So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
