So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Where is the hickey?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize