I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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