I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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