I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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