i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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