My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
