Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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