i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
