stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Liz is crying about burritos again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
