we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
