By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
