I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
