Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if i can run in heels then i can drive
hell yes lets make some ravioli
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
