My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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