there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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