I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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