no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Pooping to opera.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
