If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
