I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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