I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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