Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
