Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
