bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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