I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
