CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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